A story

He was her sunshine.

And she was that summer's lilly who learned to love under his light.

He was the first one to post a disagreeing comment on her well crafted writing and she didn't feel like defending her point as his comment ended like, "Just consider this as a conversation I would like to have with you over a cup of tea."
Right from that moment she was falling for him, his long texts to which she would wake up for and the way he made her laugh.

She lived 356 miles away from him, but it almost felt like she could hear his heart beats.

His songs dominated her favorite playlist, and every song sounded like him. Gnash's illusm was her favorite, because she felt like it was his souvenir for her, inked with mesmerizing lyrics and music. 

"Out of breath,
Out of time,
Is it your turn?
Is it mine?"

She loved his writing and love for reading as she was herself a passionate reader since childhood. One day he wrote a 7 pages letter to her and that was the most beautiful thing someone had done for her out of all the 20 years of her life.

She had held his hands for only 13 minutes of their 366 days of vicissitudes. Those 13 minutes felt like home to her.

Then came few days that killed her and pushed into the abyss of grief. She searched for him.
She found nobody but alone herself.

On the 366th day, she felt like ending it because their love had turned out to be like a lame impression of what they had before. It was like a candle that imitated the star. She couldn't hold it. She said to him,

"Our love is dying."

He said back.

"You killed it."

It broke her heart because he had no idea how many poems and chapters of her literary works were made for him, the pictures she drew for him,about the book she gifted him and that day 2 o'clock in the morning when she woke up in tears and heart-wrenched as she had seen him roadkilled.
Oh! She really loved him like crazy. Her vehement art was her love for him.

The lilly loathed the clouds for obscuring her darling sunshine.
But she never knew that her sunshine was intentionally hiding from her.
And the Lilly made up her mind to bloom one last time to say goodbye.

"My love,If only we were strangers again..."

Happiness was,

The magic of words.
The magic of thoughts.
The magic of passion.
The magic of compassion.

The voice.
The laughter.
The conversations.
The endless nights.

The songs.
The dreams.
The hopes.
The stories.

The love.

The  inextricability.
The endlessness.
The reunions.

The meeting.
The smile.
The warmth.
The magic.
The pen and pendent.
The books.

The letter.

The memories.
Him.

My heart.

Past 4pm.
(February 19, a treacherous day for the hearts.)

*Situation
Again a time for goodbyes. Those warm hearts were leaving. Under the garish sun above, inside a home filled with hearts dwelling by one large and weak heart, they were ready to leave. Miles to go.

*Me
The smoke was started before 20 hours  and my heart was succumbing slowing to it. It was suffocating the heart. The breaths were more deeper now and every time I could feel the muscles twitch voluntarily when the lip alone was about to smile.
I said to my heart,
"It's fine. There is technology to dissolve distance."
But it snapped.
"I have heard it several times before."
The smoke engulfed the heart.

One final hug and smile with wet eyes.
I knew the smoke was not only mine.

She waved hands untill my eyes couldn't help seeing her. Some salty drops rolled over my cheeks.
Smoke in its zest and little burns.

*A voice from heart.

"Memories stay. Sisterhood stays. Love stays. Time awaits. Hope stays. Feelings stay.
You'll once go and do all you need to."

The smoke was descending.

The Delphic beauty.

The time was around 11.05pm and one more day was falling into the chart of lame and fruitless days. Shabnam begun humming and eventually inviting my attention to the lyrics of 'Titanium'. The music transcended and pushed my mind into a beautiful chaotic space of memories as in the pensieve of Dumbledore. Music always had that peculiar magic to let people dissolve into various memories and emotions, and i'd always wanted to write about how it felt. But writing about my favorite singers and music would be tediously long as music was an inextricable part of my life since childhood, although i'm a terrible singer.

When a tune meets its perfect lyrics just like that girl who meets her love who was long gone for war, it creates an inarticulatable field of beauty, love, longing and memories.

Miley Cyrus's 'Butterfly fly away' was the beginning of my love towards music. I was 12 and it was kind of the first downloaded music in my life.

"Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream,
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold in tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away"

 Later on, songs from many amazing singers had captured my heart. 'Fine Frenzy' was the singer whom I felt like I discovered. 'Almost lover' and 'grasses' are still my favorites. It is so magnificent, the way Allison Sudol brings the nature into her songs. Some songs take the role of different milestones of life. Those particular songs remind me of various years of my timeline. The time,space and all the vibes hit me when the song plays. Purely enigmatic!

Once in awhile, I come across few authors who depict the influence of music in their works (Stephenie Mayor's 'The Host', Stephen Chbosky's 'The perks of being a wallflower', etc). 
Some songs do whisper directly into the soul, like Fleurie's 'Hurts like hell'. Some songs tell beautiful tales like Ed Sheeran's 'Wake me up', Lukas Graham's '7 Years', Katy perry's 'The one that got away', etc.

At times songs find us through movies,books and people.Few soundtracks like Amanda Seyfried's 'little house' from Dear John, Karen O's 'the moon song' from Her, Benjamin Britten's 'cuckoo's song' from Moonrise Kingdom, the original soundtrack from 'room', etc. They are so beautiful and reminds me of the movies.

Recently I came across a post on Facebook which said "People who sends you music are very important." Such special people who matches with your music are actually impossible to let go.Every time when that particular song plays, something about the person who sent the music articulates with us. I was fortunate enough to fall in love with Gnash, the passenger, John Legend and West life through such amazing people.

One day, I came across a video on YouTube by vlogbrothers in which a young  singer talked about how it felt when her art was finally exposed to the world. Her words were truly poignant as I've always felt, art was that thing which induces humanity, What makes us human.
Music had always moved hearts and it will keep on doing that till the end of time.

"Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I
Didn't know I was lost"

-Avicii, wake me up.

Leaving people.(and the people who left me in the journey)

"Let me make the songs for the people,
Songs for the old and young;
Songs to stir like a battle-cry
Wherever they are sung. "
  -Francis Ellen Watkins

In our arts and life, we had always successfully turned time,space and materials into antagonists. Actually it is the people who 'builds' and 'breaks' everything. The worst of them are the so called leaving people which includes intentional and unintentional departure.

At the very special unfortunate moments we meet some amazing people. Then they will stamp the pieces of their hearts into ours and will make the most poignant stuff called memories. Abruptly, one day they are not supposed to be in our lives anymore. Then it's the farewell time, our hearts will be broken and so many short lived promises like even
-the-people-at-space-maintain-contacts-why-wouldnt-us. For awhile the relationship will be kept, but it's the most hurting and helpless version of the best times we had together. And it's dead. What remains are the memories.

Nothing in the world can bring back everything to that perfect space. And honestly I've no idea how to stop this, as it's a global phenomenon that people meets to part. Sometimes I feel like I should stop getting attached to people.

Little things that can be done are, hold those people tighter. Make endless memories. And when they leave give them a smile warmed by your tears.
Say "Thank you for everything,pal."
                                          

    

It hurts

It hurts.

Sun was garish and the ground burned,
But summer was the coolest,
You were all there,
We grew up together.
And I wanted to ruin the clock.
To stop the time.
And one day we'd grown up.
And moved away forever.
When the childhood ended,
Felt like I'd already lived my life.

It hurts.
We met, we said our names,
Days went and we knew more,
And then we cried laughing,
Teased and had the fun.
Stood for each other,
All said when we parted,
"we'll always remember."
Now I've many contact names.
And I'm one of yours too.
Remembering.

It hurts.
Hide and seek was fun
And the story games we played.
All holidays were festive,
I'd wanted to join Hogwarts,
To become a vampire,
And a shaolin soccer.
Stayed awake at 3 Am,
Finishing the book series.
Now I like to stare at screens.
And to sleep.

It hurts.
I wanted to bring a change.
Was a popping confetti.
In love with all the colors,
Movies, books and music.
Wanted to write.
Had to bring out the story,
I raised for years.
Now I have my wings.
The wrong wings and I'm stuck.

It hurts.
I thought we were the perfect two.
Your long texts I longed for,
songs all over my playlist,
Late night fathomless talks.
Our legendary pen and pendent.
But now we're grey.
And I knew I was the Gemini,
You couldn't have.
I was still in my worlds,
You doesn't like to visit.

It hurts that everything hurts.

Cozy burial vault.

Why is the end so appealing?
Was there a beginning?
Why isn't the middle exciting?
Isn't it leading to the end?

Dying to live up expectations.
Dying to pursue the dreams.
Dying to make the plans work.
Dying for the future days.

Can you see the yellow bees?
Little lillies aside the meadows?
Heard the cuckoo's new song?
Seen toads hopping to puddles?

Oh.
Yes.

You haven't opened your eyes yet.

And you.
Have you closed it as they said?
Your burial vault will be sweet.
You can watch it's dead black roof.

Forever and more.