Questions

Darling, did the universe know?
And were our stars right?
Why am I in such agony?
Glad that it has chosen me
And not you.
The lights are leaving,
Though I begged them not to.
Now, what shall I do?
From where shall I start?
How do I rip this heart, skin,
And large peices of soul,
In to different beings,
Yours and mine.
You seem to have ripped mine
From yours so easily.
How do I do it,
When it bleeds to even think of it.
What am I gonna do with myself?
This pain,
I am succumbing to it.
whatever belongs to me shall die,
And thus you can be free.
I need not be in pain anymore,
As I died within yourself.

Little something about bad days.

If someone out there is depressed and clueless about frequent terror of unhappy days and totally hate your life at present,I have got something to tell you. It is definitely not unrealistic motivation but things I have learned from my experiences in this short life.

First of all, I totally understand that phase at where you are stuck or trapped without choice. That happens, but in truth you can really choose if you want to stay there longer. Maybe you can't leave at this moment, but you can surely plan in detail about how to shift to a better place. Instead of getting depressed, dream about that better place and work hard to get there. Understand that now is not forever. Chant that to you conscience frequently. No matter how much longer it is going to take you to get there, you are surely going to be there soon.

Being depressed is the worst way to spend days, because it makes you worthless and unproductive. So, we must shake off the cloak of depression, forget the past and ignore the ugly present. Just focus on what you truly need, where you want to be and fight for it with your life.Hustle. It is worth it.
Everything in the world has a solution, some way or another we can get over everything that push us down.

Whenever the unpleasant present bothers you, think, "This too shall pass."
We only got one life and if we are planning to live it, lets just not spend it in depression. We shall fight for our dreams. We have the potential, we are the mighty result of billions of years's evolution,
We have the cosmos within us us, as Carl Sagan said, "we are star stuff ".

Everybody are special and deserve all the happiness in the world. You are just going through hard times because fate loves the fearless. It is not about how big your achievement is or about changing the world, everything is about movement. The effort you put in for your dreams, every single step, every detailed thoughts and plans, all that matters.

So, look and bad days and tell them, " You are not gonna last any longer."

Racing extinction (2015) (Documentary)

LIFE CHANGING!

After a while, I have resumed the pursuit of watching a selected list of documentaries. After watching Drain the Ocean, planet earth and the mountain, I really believe in the impact of these stories on our hearts. Racing extinction is very much connected to the famous documentary called The cove (2009) which says about the brutality of dolphin slaughter at Taigi.

Racing Extinction is a 94 minutes long documentary directed by Louie Psihoyos who is famous for his studies about underwater life forms and is also an academy award winner. The documentary received a worldwide broadcast premiere on The Discovery Channel.

Racing extinction narrates the shocking facts about the mass extinction of species happening at the age of Anthropocene (the time of humans). It takes you through an emotional journey of retrospection and late realization.The story mainly focuses on the effects of pollution and increased amount of green house gases on ocean and aquatic life. It brings out how the endangered species are being brutally commercialized and reveals the painfully small number of humans who are actually willing to save something that might not give them money.

The footage of visual and audio archives of extinct species create a turmoil in our hearts. We are surrounded by a smoking pot of thick co2 fumes. Humans are on their fastest journey to death and their way is too cruel that it destroys everything incredible and beautiful around.
The stories of Manta ray hunting at Indonesia and illegal shark products commercialization at China shows us the unseen truths behind the glorified lies.

The documentary ends with a moving message, the filmmakers work with Obscura Digital to design a custom Tesla Model S fitted with a 15,000 lumen projector system to project images of critically endangered and extinct species onto public buildings including Shell factories, Wall Street, Headquarters of the United Nations, the Empire State Building and the Vatican.
The visuals of manta rays being projected at the village Lamakera, Indonesia in order to convince the village to stop fishing them are really emotional.

I wish that this incredible piece of art should reach as many as possible because it serves a great purpose. The 96 minutes spent will be one of the most worthy time of your lives.

"The whole world is singing, clicking, grinding, whistling, and thumping... but we've stopped listening."

Something about a card castle.

I was always an over thinker, a person who gets paranoid when things go slightly off track from what's been already planned. Nonetheless, my journey of overthinking is not succumbing to the pointless spiral of thoughts. I research and think in every possible way to find solutions and alternative possibilities (which could be totally nuts sometimes!).

People tell me not to worry over future too much, which is absolutely right. Still, there are dreams and plans that act as a light of hope and the driving force of your life. I am the kind of person who makes clear plans about dealing with a situation and expects things that might happen following certain events, in order to be less surprised (or shocked). I also remind myself about the standard deviations that could be applied.

At certain times, life knocks me out completely by shattering my card castle within a fraction of second. The card castle is interesting as well as depressing due to various reasons. You build it with such spirit that you forget its reliability. The bigger you build, the more vulnerable it gets. You assume that the base row may support it relentlessly and you realize that, though it would collapse last, at the end it is definitely going to crash just like the other cards.

I feel like the base row is your family and everyone who supports you. The rest of the card castle are your dreams and hopes. They are constructed over the foundation of trust and support. But once when your plans and dreams crashes, the base gets affected too. The people who hold close to your heart may hurt you unintentionally. At the end of the day, you''ll only have that hands and will that prompts you to build the castle again.

Like every human, I have many internal conflicts too. I keep it to myself always. Sometimes they conflict too much and bruise my heart. I hate that sometimes I cannot express my thoughts by speech as effectively as through a written form. I am interrupted by emotions. During critical times, I am just tears and a bunch of broken words. Even though, I am ebulliently (and annoyingly) humorous at other times.

Today was such a day on which I got hit by the unexpected news that crashed the card castle I've been building for so long. It is not novel for my castle, but this time the base started collapsing too.
I understand that life is like this, but for once I expect it to be fair to me.

I hope at the end of the day everything will be alright. Once again lets accept, let go and start again from the first card.

Journey.

In a war I would never win,

I defeated myself,

for you.

I always climb swiftly,
To the long mountains
Of beautiful red flowers.
I search for you besides,
And I find you smiling at me,
Down from the valley.
Gazing from the peak,
Neither did I see the sky,
the relentless waves,
Or the eternal red flowers.
I could only see you.

Standing at the zenith of the world,

And myself,

I wonder if your eyes

Searched for me too.

My eyelids are high,

high as they are stoned.

There is a growing chaos,

fragments from fragments,

Slowing succumbing to this white noise,

My nomadic mind wanders,

through yesterdays and tomorrows.

Is this insomnia,

or a travelogue?

Stemming.

Slicing my heart into tiny bits,

And pestling the pieces with blunt edges,

I crushed out its wetness

And fed it to the seed to grow.

The seed grew into a plant

And sung with the beats of my heart.

Its roots grew through my veins,

Almost indistinguishable by then.

Took every bit of air from my lungs,

and the tiny leaves grew one by one,

Into a canopy that could even hide the sun.

The sapling grew in to a gargantuan tree.

Its roots entangled between my bones and nerves

I laid down looking at it,

With a peaceful grin.

And then I declared,

"You are mine and I am yours."

Let me.

Let me drown in this beautiful abyss,
In the darkest blue shades of tonight's sky
and feel the stars kiss me slow.
Can I live in meadows of white lillies
And in the notes of spring's music.
Let these waves take me to the heart of ocean,
Where mermaids sing lullabies.
Let me vanish in this gentle breeze,
And let the mountains carry my vibes.
Let me love you and
Never let my soul die.

Longing

To lose track of time in the depth of your eyes,

to feel the cold rain drops falling to my cheeks,

to look at the scarlet sky and leaving birds,

to let the wind play with my hair,

to embrace the waves caressing my feet,

to stare at shafting sun rays between the canopies,

to steal a look when you close your eyes to kiss,

to wish to be a part of this starry sky,

to lie on the grassland and read poetry,

to go for a night drive and love city lights,

to hold your hand and keep it at my heart,

to fall in love with the world.